Not Action Related: Joaquin Phoenix is Losing It

And now for a short break from our regularly scheduled program:

Some of you may have heard that Joaquin Phoenix is leaving acting to pursue a career in hip-hop, which is maybe not such a surprise after seeing him lay down some mean rhymes in Walk the Line... but I was a little shocked.

Well, since he made the announcement, things have gone steadily downhill, culminating in this "its so bad, but I can't help but watch it" interview on Letterman the other night. 

WTF? Is he messing with us? Or is he really this crazy? Have a look.

In case you didn't already know.

In continuing on with our coverage of the adaptation of the Watchmen graphic novel to the silver screen, I would like to put out a little tidbit of info that will most certainly be a boost to all of you fans following its progress out there. As most of you have already heard, the movie that is scheduled to open in theaters on March 6th will not include one of the amazing sub plots of the original story- The Tales of the Black Freighter. However, as a huge fan of the graphic novel himself, Zach Snyder has not left this tale of haunting piratery fall by the wayside. The official release date of The Tales of the Black Freighter animated film will be March 24th and will include Gerard Butler of the the homoerotic stabathon thriller 300 as the voice of the sea captain. This straight to DVD release will be directed by Mike Smith (Futurama, Bender's Big Score) and will hopefully be every bit as enthralling as its printed forefather. A big thanks to Mark Graham of Vulture for staying current on this topic.

Steven Seagal Runs Like a Girl

My friend and fellow action junkie Justin pointed this out to me yesterday. I, of course, immediately went to the internet to confirm or disconfirm this assertion and was perhaps less than surprised to find the following proof (number one hit on my first Google search). It's true; despite his martial arts training from the age of seven under the tutelage of well-known karate instructor Fumio Demura, Steven Seagal has never learned how to control his flailing limbs while jogging up a mountain during a training montage.

That being said, he still kicks some pretty serious ass. I would suggest having a look at some of our previous posts, here or here, if your faith is shaken....

Red Heat (1988)

Believe it or not, there are still a few movies in The Governator's catalog that I have not seen. Red Heat was one of these until last night. While I wouldn't exactly say that this is one of Arnie's most underrated films, I would say that of his not so good stuff, this is one of the better ones. Netflix gives the following synopsis*:

When Viktor (Ed O'Ross), a narcotics kingpin from the USSR, escapes from prison and heads for Chicago, Russia's brawniest, most fearless and most disciplined police detective (Arnold Schwarzenegger) follows Viktor to the Windy City and teams up with a loud-mouthed American cop (James Belushi). Together, the mismatched, culture-clashing, rule-breaking duo must overcome their differences and attempt to track down the nefarious Viktor.

Okay, what is it with naked fight scenes in Russian bath houses (see clip below)? For no good reason, this movie opens with Arnie in a loin cloth beating the crap out of some portly soviet in a bath/orgy house in the middle of a cold Siberian winter. If they wanted to show off Arnie's amazing bod, they could have easily edited in a few shots for Conan the Barbarian, and it would have made about as much sense as him beating the crap out of Le Fours in the snow. 

That being said, it was a pretty good fight scene. I particularly like the part where Arnie grabs a guy by the beard and then proceeds to man handle him. 

Also, Jim Belushi...? I guess I see what they were going for. The juxtaposition of Arnie's staunch soviet training and Jim's semi-overweight and super-annoying persona was indeed striking. I guess I just didn't buy him as "that no good, lazy, sonuvabitch.... but damn is he a good cop" kind of character. There was more than one occasion where Jim broke into a sprint, Martin Riggs style, attempting to chase down a car as it tore through oncoming traffic. But the difference between Jim Belushi and Mel Gibson is also striking.

All right, there was also some good about this movie. I did like Abdul Elijah (Brent Jennings) as the criminal mastermind. But I was upset that we saw so little of him. Also, the Gina Gershon appearance was good, but a Gina/Arnie love story would have been better. Oh yeah, and the part where Arnie was blasting henchman with the .45 reminded me of wreaking havoc with the Magnum on N64's Goldeneye, which I also liked.

In the end, Red Heat is a good one to have under your belt, but don't go out of your way to see it. There's a reason that Predator and Terminator are classics.

*Note: I would really like to be the guy who write these little synopses. How do you get this job???

The End is Nigh...

So I'm not sure which is better: The fact that somebody had the time, resources and drive to hack into a traffic signal and force it to proclaim the all too frightening warning of zombie infestation in the area or the fact that this happened within 2 miles of my very own house. Granted, this isn't exactly a topic we like to joke about here at Action Direct as we would hate to cry wolf and risk a blind eye being turned when the proverbial shit hits the fan and infected flesh eating corpses overrun the city, but this is just too good not to display. Take a look at the cheesy news story video that took place off of South Lamar and Martin Luther King Blvd.-

*Update: Apparently the outbreak is spreading as word of Zombie infestation has been reported on road work signals in Illinois as well. The end is so goddamn nigh...

In Anticipation of 2009 (UPDATED 1/8/2009)

Happy New Year, my loyal fans and friends! I hope that you all have pretty much recovered from whatever New Year's Eve antics you had planned.

Today I review my most anticipated action flicks of 2009. I'm not convinced 2009 is going to kick as much ass as 2008, as far as action film releases are concerned. It would be hard to top the old one-two that Iron Man and the Dark Knight gave us. But there are a few gems coming our way which I am eagerly awaiting. Chronologically, they are

1. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (May 1): All right, the truth is, I think this movie looks crappy and I am preparing myself to be disappointed. But it does show promise, and Hugh Jackman has been the heart and soul of the X-Men franchise for quite some time now. the one thing that makes me absolutely giddy with excitement about this movie is the appearance of a favorite X-Man, Gambit. Check out the trailer and give me your thoughts...

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE HD

2. Star Trek XI (May 8): I'll admit to being a bit of a Star Trek geek as a youth. It's probably even worse that I was a Next Generation fan, and even into Deep Space Nine. That being said, I've always really like the Star Trek films, and am eager to see what this newbie is all about. The trailer is interesting. I'm pretty sure we're going to end up with a film heavy on CGI with inexperienced actors and a cameo from Leonard Nemoy, the combination of which will result in an average movie that will look spectacular on Blue Ray.

3. Terminator: Salvation (May 22): We've talked about this before on Action Direct. Bale is badass and the Terminator franchise is lucky to have him. I think the trailer looks awesome and I can't wait to see what the robots are capable of.

4. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (July 17): If you're a Potter fan, then you'll need no explanation. If you aren't, then you are just annoyed at this point and will likely stop reading. Alas.

5. The Watchmen (Release Date Not Set): Another movie which has gotten lots and lots of coverage on this blog. The latest news is that Fox won the lawsuit against Warner, which could spell bad news for the film. Basically, Fox owned the rights to the movie that Warner made, and is now trying to cash in on it. I believe that it had a summer release date, but this will be pushed back now that the lawsuit is over. I just hope we get to see it in 2009. Have a look at this little Behind the Scenes video for some more pump-up material.

Watchmen Exclusive

So it should be a good summer. 

Transformers II is notably not on the list. I think the first sucked and I'm personally not looking forward to reading all of the movie blogs talk about how the second one is just as good. 

Some wild cards: The A-Team and G.I. Joe. 

Have I missed anything?

UPDATE: Holy smokes! Have you seen the trailer for Nine? Tim Burton's next animated bit, coming to theaters 9/9/2009. Looks excellent.

'Tis the Season for Action

Christmas is just around the corner. I'll be joining the other member of the Keanu Reeves Fan Club, along with the rest of my family, in Austin, Texas this year for some temperate weather and general merriment. I hope that you are yours will be doing something similar, and we wish you all the best.

As a gift to you, our readers, I give you the top five best Holiday Action Films of all time.

1. Die Hard (1988)/Die Hard 2 (1990): You'll recall that Hans Christian Gruber and his cronies crashed Holly's holiday party in the Nakatomi Tower penthouse. You may also remember the closing scene in Die HArd 2, where Captain Lorenzo throws McClane's shredded parking ticket into the air, like so much confetti, while crying out "It's Christmas!" Ah, how I do love the holidays.

2. Lethal Weapon (1987): I almost forgot about this one. But how could you forget the final fight between Gibson and Busey (previously featured on Action Direct), framed by Christmas lights and mistletoe. It's true, the original Lethal Weapon, with Gibson's underlying mental instability (highlighted throughout by lonely saxophone riffs), and Glover's not so subtle self-doubt, is a Christmas movie, and a damned epic one at that. I'll be revisiting this one come Christmas Even with the fam...

3. First Blood (1982): The good folks over at Cinematical pointed out that First Blood is in fact a Christmas movie, albeit subtly so (they also put Reindeer Games in their top five... what?). And they're right. Think back to the cheesy lights adorning the streets of the once sleepy town. Christmas can be hard for folks that don't have anyone. I would say that John Rambo exemplifies this statement in First Blood.

4. Ghostbusters 2 (1989): All right, so this is more of a New Year's pic than a Christmas pic, but come on, don't bullshit me. I love this movie, as much or more than the first, if you can believe it. I think that the first one might also have Christmas overtones to it, but I could be wrong. 

5. Gremlins (1984): Yeah, you might have thought that number 5 would be Batman Returns, or something will a little more substance. But for me, it's Gremlins. I love Gremlins. I even like Gremlins 2. I think that more than anything, it has to do with the fact that I watched them both many many times as a child. I will always have a place in my heart for Gremlins, and it's as Christmas as they come.

6. Batman Returns (1992): All right, Batman Returns deserves a spot. Michelle Pfeiffer will always be Catwoman in my eyes. And, Phillip Seymour Hoffman or no, Danny Devito was an amazing Penguin. This is a great movie. And the super nintendo game is also worth checking out... 

So there you have it. Update your Netflix and have yourself some Happy Holidays!